Sleepless at Sinterklaas

I couldn’t sleep a wink last night, is not only a 1943 song by Frank Sinatra, it’s also the God’s honest truth. I’m a pretty bad sleeper and it’s happened to me several times already, but I’m always quite amazed that some nights my body just refuses to go to sleep. And apparently without much reason. I mean: yesterday I went shopping at Ikea, went to the gym, had coffee with a friend in the afternoon, fitted some spotlights in my apartment, and drank a pint of real ale with another friend in the evening. But when I went to bed at 12 p.m. and was still awake by 4 a.m. I knew there wasn’t much use in staying in bed. So I got up and stayed up. And to be honest: I’m not too bothered by it.

In fact, staying up a whole night is something of an interesting experience, at least when you decide not to be annoyed by your insomnia and just get up and go on with your, err, day. For example, there’s something a bit special about being awake at that sweet spot between 3.35 and 4.35 a.m. when the whole world seems asleep. You kind of feel in charge of the universe. Although that could also just be the sleep deprivation talking.

On a less philosophical note, it also quite fun to have an extra meal. I guess, when you don’t sleep, your stomach stays active as well, so somewhere around 4 o’clock you’ll have brinner, that exclusive meal between dinner and breakfast when anything goes down. There’s something deliciously strange to be eating tuna sandwiches with olives in the middle of the night.

However, I mustn’t over-romanticize. All things together, it’s quite a nuisance to skip a night’s sleep. For one, not only your biological clock is confused, even your biological calendar is upset. I mean, for me a new day starts when I wake up in the morning. So if you don’t wake up, there’s no new day-feeling. Hence, it’s still Monday inside me.

But most annoying is the fact that before you finally give up and get out of bed, you will spend about three or four hours tossing and turning under your duvet. And with tossing and turning comes thinking. And there’s no worse thinking than what goes on during a sleepless night. In fact, there are three degrees of such thinking: first degree thinking, about stuff (like your job, life, etc.), second degree thinking, about sleeping (‘Dammit why can’t I sleep?’) and then third degree thinking, about thinking about sleeping. Indeed, once you start telling yourself you need to stop thinking about thinking about sleeping, you’re in for a long night...

Up to yesterday, however, my sleep thinking universe consisted of these three dimensions, but yesterday (it must be Fred with his complex mathematics getting to me) I discovered thinking⁴. And what’s more: the key to the fourth dimension of thinking is Sinterklaas. Now before you call an ambulance because you think I’ve gone insane after a sleepless night, hear me out.

While lying awake, I suddenly realised that last night was the eve before Sinterklaas Day and I couldn’t help but wonder how many excited children shared my fate of staring at the ceiling. All those small boys who were just too anxious to sleep because Sinterklaas might’ve brought them that electric car. Small boys who were also very conscious of being awake. Indeed, when we were children, we were told that Sinterklaas wouldn’t come if you stayed up, for instance, in the hope of seeing him. So all you wanted to do was sleep, and you soon found out that the harder you thought about sleeping, the harder it was to sleep...

And there you have it: Fred thinking about thinking about children thinking about thinking about Sinterklaas, aka thinking to the fourth power, or thinking⁴.

On second thought (pun not intended) it might be time for a little nap. Get that proper experience of going from 5 to 6 December. Who knows, maybe Sinterklaas will visit me after all?