You are what you eat

A few months ago, Fred wrote a blogpost on Michel Lotito, a man who became famous for eating indigestible objects. Like airplanes, duh. Recently, I realized that there actually exists an official term for people eating things like clay, paper or stone: these people are said to suffer from pica, a medical disorder which is characterized by an unnatural appetite for largely non-nutritive substances. You might feel tempted to conclude that a rather substantial part of the world population suffers from pica, so let me set this straight: burgers from MacDonald's are nòt included.

As with most medical disorders – well, maybe with the exception of an obsession with cleaning – this is not really something that you would want your child to suffer from, is it? Not at first sight, I admit. But once you start thinking it through, it becomes clear that it would in fact be a very convenient way to raise a child. Nothing easier than throwing a birthday party for a bunch of kids suffering from pica, for example: first you play rock-paper-scissors, and then you just eat them.

When I was a kid, there was actually a guy suffering from pica in my class: James, aka the Desert Dude; he lived on a diet of sand. I mean, my lunch was wrapped in a brown paper bag, he brought his in one of these blue, plastic starfishes. I liked him very much, and he often visited our place. My mom used to serve me lasagna when he came over: she put the thing in the microwave, and three minutes later – ping – my food was ready. For James, she merely turned the hourglass: three minutes later, his food was done too. Unlike me, James was very fond of school trips. I still remember the third grade trip, a visit to the seaside: 'Yay, all-you-can-eat!'. Or the fifth grade trip, one week in Egypt: 'Yay, the food pyramids!'.

Unfortunately, James passed away last week. I went to his funeral; they cremated him. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

I guess in the end it makes sense.

You are what you eat...