Pizza marketing wars have now officially reached a point of cosmic proportions - pardon me the pun - as Domino's Japanese branch announced its plans to open the first pizza restaurant on the moon. Just in case you have some weird synonym in mind the existence of which I am not aware of, we are talking about the celestial body rotating our planet. The moon, as we say.
It all started in 2001, when the enemies from Pizza Hut delivered a pizza to astronauts orbiting the Earth in the International Space Station (ISS). Not just any pizza of course: the creation of the world's first pizza in outer space was the product of an intense - and, let me guess, rather expensive - collaboration between Pizza Hut and Russian food scientists. A quote from the official report: "before final certification for consumption was given, the vacuum-sealed Pizza Hut pizza had to undergo rigorous stabilized thermal conditions to determine freshness-stay and life span." Sounds like someone lost the first 3496 pages of the Priority List for Global Problems Humanity is Facing.
You might still remember Domino's first counterblow, from December 2010, when they announced their plan to pay the winner of a contest ¥2.5 million (more or less €23000) for one lousy hour of delivering pizza's. One small job for man, one giant leap for his paycheck.
Today it seems that this was only the first step towards pizza craziness: Tomohide Matsunaga, a spokesman for Domino's, revealed the company's ambition to build a pizza dome on our only natural satellite because they anticipate there will be many people living on the moon: astronauts who are working there, wealthy Dutch tourists and migrant workers distributing pizza flyers. The company added they even expect to be able to offer delivery services. Which kept me wondering to where exactly that would be? Because unless Russian scooter scientists are working on a new kind of vehicle, I wouldn't expect the delivery to be made within half an hour...
In retrospect, I regret not being a part of the Domino think-tank, as I did have a few more bright ideas for the future. Or would you call an ice-cream parlor in the Sahara, a vending machine selling short black hairpieces in China or a night shop in Pakistan a bit too far-fetched?
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