In the unlikely event of...

• ... having to buy a laptop for a one-armed man, buy a Mac.

He might want to avoid Ctr+Alt+Del.

• ... bumping into a giant squirrel, wearing fancy head phones and enthousiastically nodding its head, ask him what he's listening to.

You might want to check that record out.

• ... facing someone who is telling you not to run away from your problems, ask him the following question:

“What if my problem is that I can't leave things behind?”

• ... seeing a Chinese man with the word 'friend' or 'love' tatooed on his arm in stylish Times New Roman, ask him whether he knows what it means.

He might have been drunk.

• ... waking up as a cartoon character, don't start running straight ahead when a tree is falling in your direction.

Step aside.

• ... meeting someone asking you whether you sometimes feel the urge to answer questions with unfinished sentences, tell him you don't.

He might be confused.

• ... sitting next to a polar bear on the airplane, ask him whether he enjoys watching television series.

He might have seen LOST too.

• ... dropping a hamster on the floor, tread lightly.

He may have the colour of your carpet.

• ... falling, face upwards.

You may still see the stars.