Do the Test!

Some time ago already the winner of our prize contest at the occasion of our 111^th post, suggested that we should write something a bit ‘introspective’. So after introspecting for way too long by now, I finally came up with a fun way to grant you a peek into my soul: a little test designed to estimate how much of a Fred you are.

Of course the test will be followed by the answers (with explanations) and a way to calculate your degree of Fredness.

So here it goes!

Question 1

You have been cueing for ten minutes in a supermarket when you notice you are in the ‘Ten items or less’ aisle and you have twelve items in your basket. What do you do?

A: You proceed to the cashier, hoping that she won’t notice and preparing a witty reply in case she does. Something lame like: ‘Ah, but the more the merrier right?’

B: You throw away the two items you deem least necessary, but when you come home you write a blog post about how unfair the system is, because with a low number like 10 or 12 items it’s more how fast the cashier works that determines how fast the cue goes.

C: You forget all about the two items because you’re getting worked up about the fact that the sign should actually read ‘Ten items or fewer’. Items are countable, so we use fewer, not less!

Question 2

If a tree falls in a forest and there’s no one or nothing around to hear it fall, does it make a sound?

A: Yes.

B: No.

C: Well, it depends, doesn’t it?

Question 3

You have decided to be a couch potato for a night and spend an evening in front of the TV. Which action movie do you watch?

A: The Last Boyscout with Bruce Willis

B: Under Siege with Steven Seagal

C: Mad Max with Mel Gibson

Question 4

One day you decide you would like to write a book. But what would the book be about?

A: About odd facts and strange questions.

B: A fantasy story of dungeons and dragons, and a hero’s tale from rags to riches.

C: About nothing, really.

Question 5

The famous stranded-on-a-deserted-island question: what would you take if you had to choose?

A: The Bible

B: A guitar

C: 1 liter of distilled water, 20mg of copper and 25 grams of sodium bicarbonate

!SPOILER ALERT! !SPOILER ALERT! !SPOILER ALERT! !SPOILER ALERT!

Question 1

The correct answer is C.

A would imply that Freds are smooth talkers which ain’t the case. B gets one point but that would lead to a pretty boring blog post, don’t you agree?

A: 0, B: 1, C: 2

Question 2

The correct answer is A.

Of course the falling tree makes a sound. Sound is physics and physics don’t need people to apply. In fact physics have been around quite a bit longer than people have. C gets a point as well, because it is possible to argue that to make a sound is usually defined rather anthropocentrically, or that you could interpret this case as a philosophical question. Unfortunately, this does mean you are a bit of a twat.

A: 2, B: 0, C: 1.

Question 3

The correct answer is B.

Both A and B are acceptable movies, though. A because of the very funny jokes in it (and a Fred is a bit of a joker) and B because it has Erika Eleniak’s boobies in it (and a Fred is a bit of a - never mind). Because of the boobies, though, B is also the best answer, getting two points (duh). C is just a bad movie.

A: 1, B: 2, C: 0

Question 4

The correct answer is C.

You could have known that I admire well-written books that basically do not have a story, as I wrote about it here. Answer B, another favourite of mine, gets one point. Answer A is basically what we’re doing right now, so that would be a bit pointless, wouldn’t it?

A: 0, B: 1, C: 2

Question 5

The correct answer is A.

Obviously boredom would be the key problem on a deserted island. And, however strange it seems, the Bible is the best choice. It may not be that interesting, but trust me, you’d read it from front to back if it were the only thing you had. Besides, it’s a big book, full of strange stuff to think about, and that’s quite Fredian really. The second-best choice is the guitar. Yes, both Freds play the guitar, but eventualy it would break or you’d start talking to it and call it Wilson and stuff. Option C was just meant to confuse you. You probably thought that mixing those together would give you something super useful, didn’t you? In fact, I haven’t the slightest idea what you’d get. Maybe something bubbly.

A: 2, B:1, C: 0

NOW CALCULATE YOUR TOTAL SCORE!

7-10 points: Right on! You’re just like us. Congratulations! (not).

3-7 points: Almost there. You just need to learn to listen to your inner Fred some more.

0-3 points: Paris Hilton, stop visiting our blog. Honestly.