Bogey-Wogey

I'd say 'bogeys' is a misnomer. I don't know about you, but to me it sounds like candy. Red candy, to be more precise, shaped like a rabbit and slightly sour-tasting. The kind of candy that makes the muscles between your mouth and ears contract spontaneously when you have more than one.

As it stands, bogeys are pieces of dried nasal mucus. Dry snot, if that sounds more familiar to you. And if you still don't know what I'm talking about here, then visit the nearest primary school and turn over a random chair: the chunky pieces attached to the bottom of the seat might ring a bell. Unless they are pink of course, that used to be bubblegum.

You might be wondering where this is heading to, as the subject of today is not exactly the most tasteful one (we all tried it, no need to be judgemental here) and bordering a line which you don't necessarily want to see crossed - right? The thing is, this Fred is having one of those days in which my head seems to be filled to the brim with snot. I have no sense of smell at all today, and a voice which is so nasal that you could easily mistake me for Fran Drescher (The Nanny, anyone?).

But a Fred wouldn't be a real Fred if he didn't try to look at the slimy gooey stuff from the scientific point of view. And this is why I spent the fifteen-minute walk from my office to the lecture hall thinking about mucus.

And it led me to a baffling realization: we can't tell whether our own snot stinks!