Animals in Advertisements. Part One…

…Beavers, Ducks, Frogs and Dogs.

Okay, I know I’ve already talked about this briefly, but after today I’ve really had it. Let me be formal: I hate animals in advertisements. So I’m going to complain about it. At length. At such length even that I’m already announcing a second round of complaining about this topic. So keep your eyes peeled for Thursday’s Animals in Advertisements. Part Two…

But why, you’ll ask, do you object to the smiling polar bear on the coke bottle or the cheery elephant on the pack of paper towels? I’ll tell you why. Because it makes no sense. Zero sense at all.

This morning I was acutely reminded of this when I noticed a giant billboard poster for an outdoor equipment shop (you know, fleece sweaters, Nordic walking sticks, igloo tents, that sort of thing) that features a beaver in its logo. Instantaneously it ruined my whole day. I mean, think about it. Who comes up with this kind of thing? First of all, beavers are always fat and I’m pretty sure that’s not the image you want to convey. Second, beavers are good swimmers and I doubt you’ll find lots of swimming-related stuff in an outdoor equipment shop. And third, beavers build dams. Which means they’re the exact opposite of going out into the wild and exploring. Surely there’s no worse animal than a beaver to use in the logo of an outdoor equipment shop!

However our friendly beaver (oh how I hate its fucking friendly face!) is only a small example of a much larger scale phenomenon. Indeed, whole industries have come to rely on animals for their commercial imagery. For instance, toilet cleaning products or washing up liquid almost always features ducks or frogs. But why ducks or frogs, for God’s sake? Surely, they’re not known to be cleanly animals? In that respect, a cat (constantly licking itself clean) would have made a much better choice. Alternatively one could claim ducks and frogs make sense because of their link with water. But then again, we all agree that washing up liquid or toilet cubes featuring a fish would be ridiculous, so that’s not it. So why do people use ducks and frogs in these advertisements? And most puzzlingly: why can both be used to advertise products for your toilet and for your dishes? Is their no inherent difference between both?

But the one that pisses me off the most is dogs for toilet paper. Oh yes, we all love the cuddly Labrador puppies dolling around with a roll of soft toilet paper. But again, think about it. Dogs and toilet paper. Do we really think the animal that will happily shit anywhere, anytime is a good way to advertise a product about cleaning up faecal matter?

Do we?

Next time: roosters, tigers and even more frogs. Oh goody…